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MY LOVE PHILOSOPHY

w/Tampa Love Muse

 this page is where you can read about my belief system in regards to relationships

I believe that...

     ❤ it takes time & effort to get crystal clear on what it is that we want...and don't want...in relationships/life.

      it is IMPERATIVE to take the time to learn how to understand our own wants/needs.

      it is IMPERATIVE to then learn how to articulate our wants/ needs lovingly & effectively to others.

     ❤ it is also IMPERATIVE to then learn how to "listen to understand" our partner's wants/needs lovingly...not taking this personally.

      learning how to be in a healthy relationship takes communication & relationship SKILLS.

      these skills can be learned and enhanced.

      in order to learn new skills, we should PRACTCE them.

      it is important to practice new and/or enhanced skills when we are NOT in conflict so we are ready when we are.

      it is normal AND ok to have conflict in relationships but is important to WORK THROUGH conflict well.

      it important to note that this is a moving target...so we may need "Do-Overs" and space to change our minds.

     we can create shared couple goals.

      we can create personal goals.

      we can help/support each other to our personal and couple goals.

So THE LOVE RELATIONSHOP is where we learn AND practice relationship/communication skills

so we have the tools for happier, healthier partnerships. 

 

Regardless of one's romantic status, we are all in MANY different kinds of relationships where we need to use these UPLEVELED skills daily.

THIS REALLY RESONATES WITH ME: 

We are "FORMED" during our childhood but we have the opportunity to "TRANSFORM" during adulthood as we shed our past  assumptions and emotions. 

  

Ponder this:  As a child sees life happening in front of them, they try to make sense of it.  They put MEANING into circumstances that were probably not there in the first place.  [Think about how many children believe their parents are divorcing because of THEM.]  But they're trying to make sense of these things as a child with their limited knowledge, understanding, and experience.   

 

As an adult you'd see things very differently than a child would, wouldn't you?  We'd never take real relationship advice from a child.  

So why are we still listening to what we started believing as a child?

* "identify & show up as your true authentic self"

 

Identifying your "true authentic self" means that you find out what YOU WANT in life and WHO YOU WANT TO BE regardless of your social, cultural, religious, family and self expectations.  It means you toss out the shame, guilt, and fear.  You get rid of negative self talk.  

 

Instead of obligations [where you feel negative emotions of HAVING TO DO something], you plan YOUR LIFE with THINGS YOU WANT TO DO because of WHO YOU ARE and WHO YOU WANT TO BECOME which feels like a choice and so it feels GOOD.  [AKA ...HOW do you want to show up in life?]  You could very well have the same things on your "WANT TO DO LIST" as what's on your "OBLIGATIONS LIST" but it just FEELS sooooo different!! 

 

Byron Katie talks about this ... and I'll paraphrase here because it's been so long since I heard/read it. 

 

CLICK HERE FOR THE REST OF THE STORY

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